A Downing Street spokesman/whistleblower has invited the entire population of the UK to a Christmas Party at 10 Downing Street, on Thursday 23rd December.
“The theme for this years masquerade party will be ‘Politicians in 2021’ and so party goers are encouraged to pretend that they are members of parliament who care deeply about the general public. Please therefore wear appropriate clown or muppet costumes, as becomes the occasion.”
“As last years party was so successful, and due to it’s huge popularity, this years party will also be virus free and will of course, adhere strictly to the current restrictions for MP’s (ie none). This means that NO RESTRICTIONS will be tolerated!”
“No need for masks (unless it is part of your costume), social distancing will be ignored (that is only required for the plebs after all), hand sanitisers may be required for those who have had interactions with animals before arriving at the party.”
“Your vaccination status will not affect your ability to attend this party, as we already know that nobody will ever be fully vaccinated.”
“You will not need to show proof of a negative test result because we know the PCR tests are highly unreliable.”
“Please note that our door security team have been instructed not to let anyone in who might cause trouble (such as conspiracy theorists and truthers, anyone talking about adverse effects of the vaccines or anyone who can’t keep this party secret).”
There will be plenty of drinks and other stimulants as usual (further supplies may be available in the House of Commons).”
“We wish ourselves a very Happy Christmas and a Prosperous New Year (at everybody else’s expense).”
*Disclaimer – please note that this information has not been fact checked and therefore could be completely fake. Our source has just become a father again and therefore could be making this whole thing up.